A Different Goodbye

These days I am sorting through all my stuff and organizing what I will take with me and what gets thrown away, given away, or sold.  I came across a poem I wrote June 1976 after my graduation from high school at Woodstock in India.  I'd lived 12 years of my life in India, and knew it as "home".  Woodstock was an international boarding school where I'd spent most of those 12 years.  The intensity of living in the foothills of the Hymalayas 24/7 with your peers has lingered with me all these years.  I wrote this poem the last week before I left that beautiful place to return to the United States and a total unknown foreign future.  I was unable to formulate what lay ahead, what it would be like or feel like.  So the ache of leaving what I knew, and knowing that I could never really come back to it was heavy on my heart.  I wrote:

Strange be the heart of departure
To find you love with passions
So great that in leaving we see,
Ay, if I could but see them forever!
Not merely pictures and words
But better beings.
I feel I wouldn't know a heavy heart!
But life goes on and leaves my love behind.
My heart is bursting
Because "Goodbye" is mean and ugly.
Tears fill because I see beauty.
My soul cries because no light was seen
I loved them to the fullest
But wonder: did they love me for the best?

I have been back to visit twice (still way too long ago), and discovered it was true, I could never go back.  I had become an outsider to the place, and I'd lost touch with the people strewn all over the world.  Until around 2001.
Our class, the Class of 76, had its 25th reunion in Colorodo (USA).  Most of us had not  known where the others were for the past 25 years, and it was a glorious moment connecting with each other.  Since then many of us have stayed in touch, and now with Facebook, I've connected with others from our class and the school.  It really has been a balm to my woundedness expressed in this poem.  Because it was the people I was connected with in addition to the place.  And now in our global community, we who have wandered for decades, feeling still outside, have started to feel a "coming in" and reconnecting with the community that was and has been for us "home".

So today, as I say another goodbye (November 2010) to a place where I have lived for 20 years I share many of the same sentiments expressed in this poem. I still am at this place of having NO idea what the "Third Chapter" of my life will hold.  But it is no where near as sorrowful or remorseful (or perhaps as adolescent) a feeling.  Instead I say "Good-bye" with a sense that I can always come and visit and not feel so "outside", simply because I continue to be connected with the people, and the horizons of the place are now so much more expanded.   I also leave feeling that the goal of becoming "better beings" continues always, until HE returns!  I did my little part here and will continue to do it where ever I go.

In search of a Bister!

I don't typically have a computer at home, and so don't have access to the wonderful sport of "web surfing"'.  Yet it's quite frustrating.  I've now spent over an hour trying to find something on a Bister!  I thought it would be nice to have one to carry my bedding on the train to move up north.  Surely I could find one on e-Bay or something!  But first I didn't even know the spelling, or if there is an English equivalent.  I did find the word a couple of times usually as "bistar", which is Hindi for mattress.  I was terribly sidetracked by Bicester that is pronounced bister, but it appears to be a town in the UK, that has a train station and has a few luggage stores.  Two other words that I connected in my google search to try to help hunt down the word.

It appears that a standard item of one's travel luggage from my youth growing up in India is no longer in vogue, and perhaps has become extinct!  How very very sad! From what I can tell there are still bundles and tin trunks, but the bedding roll, or bistar is nowhere to be found.

click on box

The bistar that I remember having was a green canvas.  When laid out it was only about 4 ft with two pockets on either end.  You would lay your bedding in and the pillows in each pocket and then roll it up and leather straps would tie it up.  So you could really stuff it if you wanted to.  When traveling on the train, you would open the bistar up and have a soft something to lie on, your pillow and a blanket (if needed).  It was quite wonderful.  It was common to have to wait for the train on the platform and the rolled up bedding was a great soft seat!  I suppose it was not too comfortable to carry, but koolies would carry all your bags on their heads and get you to your compartment on the train
koolies click on box

So has ANYONE seen a bistar any where? Now I just want one for pure nastolgia's sake.  How could I have just left my bistar and not kept it for ever?  If you know where I can find one, please do tell!

Let's Get this Adventure Started

I am trying my hand for the first time on Blogging.  I doubt I will stay consistent on it, but I'm starting with reporting on this new adventure ahead.  I'll write about the Why, What, How later....but for now this is my agenda.

October 15, 2010:   Last Day in the Office at Family and Children Faith Coalition

November 24, 2010: Leave by Train to Charleston, South Carolina

December 6, 2010:  Go by Train to Washington, DC

December 13, 2010:  Go by Train to Chicago, Ill

December 14, 2010:  to Madison Wisconsin

December 17, 2010:  hang out in Chicago/Wheaton with my kids

December 20, 2010 back to Madison

Late January Early February:  Visit Miami Again

I invite you to track with me on this adventure!